Nicole’s biography:
Nicole contributed all of the watercolour designs and technical diagrams to our upcoming book project, Sharing The Now: Connecting With Your Horse through Mindfulness. We first met Nicole through her business, Tonic Equestrian, and purchasing items from the line, including amazing artwork from Hand Gallop Studio. She also completed a commissioned portrait of Stella for Shreyasi a few months prior. When we approached her about this project, she was excited to help and we are so grateful for her visual talents! She has crafted stunning imagery for the ideas we want to portray to the world and captured what we find so significant in being connected to our horses. The logo and art on this website are created by her, unless otherwise stated. As a graphic designer and artist, she creates original artwork and design, custom branding, small business print and offers marketing and editorial solutions through her company, Hand Gallop Studio. She is also co-owner of Tonic Equestrian in Sherwood Park, a retail company celebrating the unique lifestyle and outlook of the Equestrian Nation.
Enjoy her article below!
Inner Critic
We all know it – that little voice that picks at our imperfections and can conjure up feelings of doubt, fear or shame in the face of our everyday lives. Our inner critic.
Self-criticism can have debilitating and adverse effects on our lives if it isn’t proactively managed. While some of us have learned to handle the chatter and are able to combat it better than others, if this is something you’re struggling with, you’re definitely not alone.
Like most equestrians, I seek out time with my horses to unwind, build up my self-esteem and bring some positive vibes into my life. Even though the barn is my happy place, that inner critic can show up unannounced in a variety of situations where I least expect it and effectively disrupt things.
Sometimes the dialogue is easy to catch and dismiss before it gets going, but other times that voice can actually be extremely convincing, negatively affecting my progress, confidence or motivation. Whether it’s when I’m working one on one with my horse or in a group setting, with a coach or in competition, being mindful is a powerful and effective way to address that internal commentary anytime it pops up and tries to sabotage my day.
Dealing with the critical inner voice
Be prepared:
Not long ago, I was at a point where I was struggling with some aspects of my riding and I was particularly hard on myself. I found that I had gotten into the habit of letting my inner critic start in on me before I had even gotten to the barn, which in turn had a seriously detrimental outcome for my rides. My energy transferred directly to my horse and neither of us benefitted nor enjoyed the experience.
I’ve recently adopted the routine of preparing for my time with my horse by grounding myself and practicing mindfulness before I even step into the stable or paddock. Being in a calm, aware state of mind has made a massive difference for me regardless of the task at hand. Not only has it been extremely effective in helping me combat the inner critic if or when it shows up, I’ve also noticed a marked improvement in my rides and in my connection with my horse. I’m enjoying all the little accomplishments, celebrating them instead of scrutinizing what I could have done better.
Breathe:
When my inner judge and jury starts its disapproving dialogue, I’ve learned to take a few deep breaths to help settle my thoughts and clear my headspace, bringing my attention and focus back to whatever it is I’m doing at that moment. If I let the narrative run on, it generally does quite happily, so putting a stop to it as soon as I recognize it’s happening is a priority. I think of it like a re-set button.
Be aware:
Simply knowing when and where that inner dialogue may sneak in and attempt to sabotage something is a powerful tool for putting a stop to it. Whenever it arises, I try to use that opportunity to become an observer, asking ‘what’s triggered this?’.
Is it a particular task that I’m doing or about to do? Is this a new activity or something I’ve done before? Am I replaying something I’ve recently done and felt I did wrong or could have done better? Were there people watching? Is it in a competitive environment? What was my state of mind? Was unfocused or nervous?
Check in with your energy and take note of your thoughts and your body. If you spend a few moments to bring yourself back to the present and get centered, then you can more effectively remind yourself that the inner talk is invalid and unnecessary, promoting a more positive outcome.
Treat yourself with kindness:
The pressures we put on ourselves can be fairly hefty and are usually based on some illusory perception, not on our own reality. We’re all at different stages and places with our progress and abilities, and I guarantee that none of us is perfect. No one is experiencing exactly what anyone else is, so you are the only one that needs to be content with whatever it is you’re doing.
Keeping myself in a positive state of mind when things seem to be going less rosy for me than it is for those around me can sometimes prove to be easier said than done, though. Whenever I get to a point where I feel the need to criticize myself for a mistake or for not living up to whatever ideals I’ve created in my mind, I remind myself that we usually only see other people’s successes, very rarely are we witness to their struggles.
In those cases, I have learned that one of the most powerful tools I can use to combat the negative criticism is to challenge that train of thought and respond with the positive opposite. Any judgmental commentary is met with disagreement and I restructure the dialogue.
“I’m so terrible at canter transitions” becomes “Canter transitions are a challenge for me and I’m up for a challenge”.
“Those riders are so accomplished, I’ll never be that good” becomes “Those great riders were where I am once, so I’m going to work hard and focus on finding out my full potential”.
Sooner or later, the more this gets practiced, the more the inner dialogue automatically starts shifting towards the positive out of habit.
The bottom line is, our critical inner voice doesn’t speak from a platform of truth. It’s normal to have negative thoughts, but we don’t need to believe them or hang on to them. Being mindful and adopting routines that work towards creating a more positive inner dialogue will prove to be beneficial to us in our everyday lives, both in and out of the barn. There’s no doubt in my mind that our horses will thank us for it, too.
