I recently shared an article on social media which described the lived experience of select African American female equestrians in the USA. “It’s time for more diversity!” I heralded. I was humbled by the support the post received by both equestrians and non-equestrians alike. What was even more poignant were the private messages I received. People described being drawn to horses but then feeling intimidated or being excluded for being “different” before they even stepped foot into a barn or riding stable. It got me thinking why does this happen? How is it that some of us feel shut out or marginalized while others populate the so called “mainstream” horse community?
Truly exploring this question requires us to approach some uncomfortable territory. What defines our identity? Who decides which labels are placed upon us? How can we get intentional about what we share with others knowing that we may influence, but can never truly determine, how others view us? Why does any of this even matter?
Working with marginalized individuals every day has made me aware of the way people are labeled. When you become more attuned to the lived experience of others, you are less likely to label them based on preconceptions. Hearing these messages from friends this past week made me realize that there are still several spaces-including the horse community-where people still feel excluded.
Frank and I have had experiences with friends who are doing their part to create change and shift the horse industry into a more welcoming space for all. On a human and ethical level we believe we can create a space of inclusion and nurture diversity through our footprint in the horse industry. How can this happen for each of us who want to make a difference and create a more inclusive community at work and at home? And, specifically pertaining to the world of social media, how can we share our realness in a soul filled way without letting ourselves be diminished or bullied by those who are made uncomfortable by what we represent? Really, this applies to any part of our lives and as a woman of colour, I think this is an important question.
This is a salient conversation in the wake of world events in 2020 as people wake up to naming and facing systemic inequities. Although some may approach differences as though they don’t exist, I would invite us all to explore a balance between treating others with respect and consideration, while also being able to celebrate differences.
Participating in a mindful self-compassion group has helped me to explore this a little further. Mindful self-compassion explains that the first step of coping with challenge is to accept that we are suffering, or going through a difficult time, holding this in our awareness. This is often an incredibly hard thing to do. The next step, when we are coping with challenges, is to remember that we are not alone and that it is all part of being human. My challenges may be different to the next person’s, but, suffering is part of what is known as our common humanity. The final step is willingly offering ourselves some support and kindness to cope through tough moments. (a link to these exercises can be found at the bottom of the page)
This is something we can all practice in an attempt to support and stay kind with ourselves and each other, through the chaos of our world, in 2020.
I believe that there is great merit in practising self-compassion and kindness towards others, particularly when honouring diversity and nurturing space where everyone can be included regardless of differences. It does mean digging really deep and figuring out questions like, “What is the agenda here?” and “Who do you want to be?” “How do you want to treat people?” Staying in touch with our values and feeling we are enough the way we are, helps us share the realness without being shut down by those who are threatened by our light and seek to supress our voice.
So, how can we each create a more inclusive space? As my friend Jen pointed out, horses don’t see those things, so why do we? I am filled with gratitude for those who already recognize this and celebrate diversity of all kinds within the horse industry. Just as there are many horse breeds, disciplines and ways to make horses a part of our lives, there is space for all types of people, from all lived experiences, to be with horses. There is room for all of us to shine. I hope that this article inspires a little more compassion. This is a reflection on what we want to do more of. Rather than get mired in hopelessness, let’s set an intention to create space and heart, for actions that will make a difference in a positive way.
To try the mindfulness exercise ‘Self-Compassion Break’ for yourself, follow the link Guided Meditations and Exercises
Click Session 1 by Kristin Neff or Chris Germer.
